Graham (00:01.067)
And real quick, just so I get it right, to pronounce your last name, Collius.
Markus Kaulius (00:05.307)
Perfect, call ES, you got it.
Graham (00:08.538)
I love it, Collies, that's great. Okay, awesome. Well, Marcus, I'm pumped to finally connect with you. I was telling you before we hit record that multiple people are saying you have to connect with Marcus. I was talking to Rory Vaden and then when, and you know how that sort of particular activation system thing is like, I heard your name from him originally and then I'm seeing you everywhere. And then I'm, other people are like, do you know Marcus Collies? And I'm like, wait a second.
So we were talking, I knew I had to connect with you and I think Sabrina from Brand Builders connected us like, hey, y should get together on a show. And I love your content. I love your new book. I've been going through it. I love the way you think about things and I love how you were showing up and mentoring people. I have a lot of respect for those who've gone before and who want to pull other people along the journey and help and you do with such humility and grace. And man, for a guy who his bio says,
You've built and founded multiple eight and nine figure companies. You're doing hundreds of millions of dollars. You've helped tens of millions of people in different segments. It's rare to see a guy at your caliber who has the humility and the sort of still excitement and wonder about learning new things and connecting with new people. So it's refreshing and I'm honored to have you on the show, bro.
Markus Kaulius (01:21.741)
Wow, wow am I pumped. Thank you for that. I'm so excited to be here, honored to be here, blessed to be here, spend this time with you and so kind of wonderful people. Rory, one of my mentors, speaking highly of me. That's wow. But I gotta just say everything you're saying about me, it's true. But I gotta say that, you know, like I just trust so much that God's gonna use me.
and use these gifts, use these blessings. And he does. So, I got to give him credit because all the good stuff that happens in my life, that's from what he's put in my name. But all the goofy stuff you might have heard, I'll take credit for that.
Graham (02:03.706)
That's fair, man. I hold totally aligned with you. And it's funny, man, I realized that we have more in common than I thought. Other than the things we don't have in common is you have better blazers and better shirts, color choices. I love the blue you got going on right now if you're watching this and a few more zeros that you've made on the end of your revenues. But but the fit for the things that really matter. We both been married almost the exact same amount of time. It looks like you got married in 04. I was married in 05 to my bride.
Markus Kaulius (02:22.917)
You
Graham (02:32.109)
And we both are girl dads of two daughters and we both have a girl pet. I have a girl bunny. So yeah.
Markus Kaulius (02:37.147)
I love it. I love it, bro. So we'll keep the estrogen outside the room for now. But no, it's true. Next month, we celebrate 20 years, Brooke and I, and I'm so psyched, dude. We're in less than two weeks. We're off to Iceland.
Graham (02:45.719)
Yep.
Congratulations.
Graham (02:54.65)
Good for you, Real quick, this is just me being picky. When's your anniversary? Because I was married in October also.
Markus Kaulius (03:00.171)
no kidding, October 22.
Graham (03:03.129)
Bro, that's our wedding anniversary. We're 1022. You kidding me right now? Bro, we're just one year behind you.
Markus Kaulius (03:05.891)
You gotta be kidding me.
That is wild.
Graham (03:11.002)
Wow, that is strange. Dude. Okay, one of the I don't I don't get I don't get weird with dates, but that's one of those things. I'm like, wait a second. Are we this kind of the same person? Maybe I'm just hopeful. Bro. That's super. Well, congratulations. 20 years is huge. I have to figure out what we're going to do for our 20 year next year. But that's I think one of the other reasons I love what you're doing is I look for people and I'm when I'm coaching or mentoring or just we're talking about like who to learn from in any area like
Markus Kaulius (03:12.441)
Yeah, man. Super cool.
Markus Kaulius (03:20.724)
Hahaha
Graham (03:40.684)
You want to look ahead at someone who's done what you want to do, who has stayed married, if they're married, who has still has, if they have adult children, for example, like one of my friends, John Gordon, I love what he's doing in the world, but also he's still married to Catherine. They still have fun together and he has relationships with his adult children. I'm like, well, that's a good sign because I want to learn how he's been successful, but a lot of people lose their soul or their family.
Markus Kaulius (03:47.301)
Yeah.
Markus Kaulius (04:06.821)
Yes.
Graham (04:07.82)
or themselves in the process, which I know is a huge part of what you're trying to help people do is be themselves. it's so cool to see someone who's made family a priority and faith a priority and health a priority and has had the success that people are interested in as well. So I love that, man.
Markus Kaulius (04:23.061)
brother, I love this and man it's crazy how much you and I speak the same language. First of all, John Gordon is one of my favorite human beings on the planet. I pray for it. God has put me put him on my heart for years now just praying for the guy. Love what that guy's doing. But you're so right about finding the right kind of mentor and I'd love to start here because I've never heard people talking like this and what I'm getting at is
There's many mentors out there, many people to look up to. know, on social media, you go, that guy's got the success I want. this guy, he's got this huge business. I wish I could do that. He's got the car I want to drive. But for me, when I was trying to find people to really look up to and learn from, they have to have certain things that are non -negotiables. you've been divorced. And by the way, all mercy, all respect. I'm not judging people for getting divorced.
But if you made your millions or you did your life successfully with divorce, then I can't follow that path. Because that path involves divorce. That will not be part of my story. So, don't be afraid people to be really discerning on who mentors you. So don't think you can just go, you know I'll take what I can out of this guy and try and ignore the other stuff. You know where it started for me and I can tell you're a healthy and physical dude too.
It started for me when I was looking for mentors in the health space. Most in the health space back in my day were all jacked up on steroids. And again, all mercy, all respect. But I was going to have nothing to do with that. So I couldn't learn from those guys. Because if those guys are like, well, here's how you do it, I'm going, no, you don't. Like, I'm not going to do it that way. And that diet might have worked for you with steroids, but that diet won't necessarily work for someone who's not on steroids.
Graham (06:17.614)
Yeah, no, that's brilliant. Steven Scoggins, I was talking to him about this and he sort of likened it to going to the grocery store and picking up like a can of soup or a box of cereal on the shelf. And you're looking at the ingredients and you've got your selection of mentors on the shelf and you can say, well, they're all on the shelf. They all maybe cost the same and maybe they'll all give me the same result of feeling full. But what's inside? What's the ingredients inside these these mentors? And do I want do I want that that those options and or do I want someone who's done it this way, which I love?
What came to mind also was I get sort of noodling down on the micro methods of this. Like in the online space, I'm coaching a lot of people how to build online businesses and leverage tools like YouTube and a podcast to grow your audience, build trust, and then bring them into your world. Well, one thing I don't like is spending a ton of time on social media. And I know you've got interesting thoughts on social media as well. I have...
Markus Kaulius (07:08.09)
Yeah.
Graham (07:12.346)
the limiting belief a lot of my clients have is, I have to be on social media posting all the time, doing all these things, following the trends, because that's what I see other successful quote unquote people doing. so I say, well, hey, maybe the mentors you're following tell you that's what you need to do because that's what they do. But have you considered there might be a mentor that's made success without having to do that? Are there other ways? Could you learn from somebody else that does it a little bit different? And I think that's a micro decision. It's not nearly as important as like,
they're sort of character qualities of the mentor, but you can choose who you learn from.
Markus Kaulius (07:47.119)
Yes, brother, this is so good. And I don't want to water down how good that message is. It might seem like a small decision, but these are the small decisions that add up big time. So let's talk about social media for a second, because if you are one of those people like me, who every minute I'm on social media, I'm like, what am I doing? Like, is this the best way to use my time? Again, I want to be really clear if you're like, hey, I like social media. Great.
great. There's nothing wrong with that. That's wonderful for you. But I think there's lots of people like me who just... The very first minute, I'm like, what am I doing? I had the most beautiful epiphany one day as I'm putting in my third hour into my social media. I'm getting so many fans. I'm going, what could I pay somebody? What is this worth? What is the value of me spending this time on social media? Maybe 15, maybe $20 an hour.
So I'm making $20 an hour by being on social media. That's official. That is my value. What? I am worth way more than 20 bucks an hour. And I'm not saying that in a conceited way. I'm saying like, Marcus, you're worth more than 20 bucks an hour. And that was it. That was the day I put social media down. Now, you still see me posting constantly. I have a team who does that stuff for me.
Graham (08:56.81)
Hahaha.
Graham (09:01.923)
Yeah.
Markus Kaulius (09:14.407)
I create the content, obviously, because it's me and it's not AI. I'm not comfortable with that yet. But, you know, they're the ones and I pop on once in while I answer DMs because I still want that connection to people. And I have friends that are kind of, they are real friends, but they're kind of only friends in that world. So I do pop on there still, but I've got it really limited. And here's one of my
best pieces of advice for you if you are looking to minimize your time on social media, set the alarms on your phone. So my settings allow only 15 minutes a day max on any social media platform. And then a warning comes up with one minute to go, and then a warning shuts it down after 15 minutes and I don't fight it.
Graham (09:55.521)
I love that.
Graham (10:04.474)
bro, you know, it's so wild. This is when God's like hunting you down. Just the other day, I'm like, you know what? I need to put a freaking alarm on my social media. And honestly, that's probably laughable to some people because I'm probably only on it 30 minutes, 45 minutes a day, but that feels like 10 times too much for me. And I was like, I should put an alarm on it. But I'm like, but I'm a disciplined person. I shouldn't have to have an alarm is what I'm telling myself. And I do this rationale and then I went on with my day and then
Markus Kaulius (10:23.589)
Totally.
Graham (10:34.137)
then here you are being very honest about your alarm like, yeah, that confirms it. I'm going to do it. So.
Markus Kaulius (10:39.075)
so good. Brother, we all do this. We all go, but I should be further advanced in this. I should, I should be. And it's like, hold on. Why? Who are you talking to right now? We're talking to ourselves. I don't, I don't need to pretend to be someone I'm not. If I need an alarm, I do an alarm. You know, really quick on alarms. This is a great way to get any new habit into your life or bad habit out of your life. Use those alarms.
People always come to me, you know, I was in the fitness space for almost 30 years. How do you remember to take your supplements? I forget to do this. Set alarms. Especially in the beginning. An alarm goes off, take your pills. Alarm goes off, take your pills. Alarm goes off, go get your workout in. Go get your workout, go do this. That's how habits are created. And after 2 -3 weeks, you go, I'm already here. I don't even... I already took my pills. I didn't even need the alarm. And eventually, yes, you can delete the alarm.
But that's the beautiful thing about these little alarms, these little tips. You put these things into your life and all of a sudden, you've got these great habits that will equal success. You don't have to just go, I hope I'm going to be successful. I hope I remember to do the things to make me a success.
Graham (11:54.628)
Yeah, no, it's so good. It's just like those little things each day, which isn't sexy, but really, one thing I've heard you say, I didn't write this down, but I thought it was brilliant, was that people are waiting sometimes for this perfect plan before they take action on something big, but you've pride yourself in being a man of action where you're like, look, I just start, I'm in motion, I take steps. We both know it, we're a person of faith, like God doesn't, like it's a lamp unto my feet, which is like the light is just a couple inches away from your feet. That's about as far as the word is.
lighting a path for you, doesn't give you the 10 steps, he gives you the one. And would you say like, there's something to that, not only just in habit change, which I don't think about habits as much, but even just in like, I wanna change my marriage, I wanna change my business, I wanna have this big, giant outcome. We all know intuitively, but we don't tend to gravitate towards it. A giant outcome is simply a lot of little steps and being a person that's willing to take action and pivot or adjust.
Markus Kaulius (12:46.308)
Yes!
Graham (12:51.238)
What are your thoughts there for someone that's like, because I'm naturally an action taker. But then then it could be seasons where I'm like, because I don't know this makes sense for you, Marcus, where I've gotten more success. And then now I'm more afraid of taking action because I'm afraid of like, well, now people are looking or paying attention or back when nobody knew who I was, I would just do whatever because it didn't matter. But so I can have seasons where I'm afraid to take steps of action. But talk to the person that's like, I'm just looking for the right strategy or the best.
mentor the best whatever before I actually go do the thing I feel like I want to do.
Markus Kaulius (13:23.163)
Bro, first, you are on fire today. I freaking love watching it. I love listening to you. Like I'm sitting here, like, I'm gonna go back over this and take massive notes. Love what you're doing. And by the way, you are speaking such truth. So first of all, most people aren't like you and like me, which is like, let's just take some action. So I wanna really encourage people. Just take action. And it doesn't matter on what it is. It doesn't have to be your business. It can absolutely be...
Your marriage. How many people at different states... By the way, I'm going to speak for myself. I'm 20 years married. There have been many times in my marriage where I'm like, I'm not doing a great job. And you start going, okay, well, what are the big things I can do? Okay, maybe I should do a big night for her and plan this and contact these people. And you don't do anything. And it's like, what? If your marriage is a concern, do something right now. Today.
Graham (14:14.66)
Yeah.
Graham (14:21.049)
So good.
Markus Kaulius (14:21.793)
Not plan. Not... Show up with flowers. Do... You know something you could do. It doesn't matter how small. It's the intention behind it that's going to get noticed. I want to come home. I'm going to rub your feet. I know you've had... You've been working so hard and I haven't spent enough time with you. Please give me your feet. Allow me to do this. It'll make me feel better. It's just these little, little things and the little things add up to big things.
So that's number one is take action immediately. And then that second part that you said, which is so profound, we experience a little bit of success or a big amount of success. And all of a sudden we start overanalyzing. You know, we're in the selfie generation and I don't just mean like, yeah. And I do mean that, but I mean, I want to look at myself. how do I feel about this? What about this? What about this? And we experience a little bit of success and we go, my goodness, probably everybody's watching now.
Graham (15:04.973)
Yes.
Markus Kaulius (15:18.843)
My next step better be really good. And you know what? Allow me to put this in my life right now. About a year ago, I sold one of my biggest businesses. And this was my baby for almost 20 years. And of course, my brain is going, oof, my next thing better be huge and everybody's watching. And there was some paralysis by analysis. Because I'm analyzing each thing like, but people are watching and...
I don't want to... The greatest thing that happened to me to get me moving again was for me to go, Marcus, remember all the failures you had along the way? How many people can name those? I can't name them. And if you are someone who's like, well, Marcus, let me remind you, you failed here, here, here, here. I'm like, that person's not in my life. I get it. There's haters. Guess how much time I spend thinking about them? Zero.
Will I be remembered for those failures? I don't remember them. No one brings them up. So start moving. Yes, I'll probably fail. That's okay because I'll learn. I don't even believe that I'll actually fail because lessons cost money. They do. Education costs money. How much did you spend on your education? Well guess what? Me failing in this business or this business, it cost me some money. I'm okay with that because what I learned...
Graham (16:33.646)
Mm.
Markus Kaulius (16:45.741)
allowed me to make so much over here or mentor this person or help this person avoid it. that is huge value to me.
Graham (16:56.068)
Dude, I love that line, lessons cost money. What a reframe. And what a succinct reframe. That is powerful. It's, yeah, I can only speak from experience. Like I don't ever want to project into somebody else. But I remember when my first business, which was in the music space, when that took off and like my dream was just to be a musician when I was younger. And so I didn't think I would have any money unless I either was going to be incredibly successful or I would just be like every other musician that's barely scraping by. So I didn't have
expectations for wealth or success. And then when God changed my story and I stumbled into music through a back door, through having a business and coaching and teaching how to record and build a channel, all this kind of stuff. When that took off and all of a sudden I'm like, this is the first thing I've ever done that's successful. I had an identity problem because now I viewed my identity as this music guy on YouTube and everybody like
media, press, anyone that liked me was interested. It was all because of what I had created over here and that's what they knew me as. And it was great until I felt my desires shift. I felt like this call on my heart to help entrepreneurs build the kind of business model I had because it was highly flexible, allowed me to have time with my family and I was seeing people burned out. I'm like, you don't need to be working even 20 hours a week to pull this off. how can we, so I had this burden to want to help them with a business model and I knew what I wanted to do. Like if gun to my head, it's like, Graham, what do you want to do?
This is probably 2016, I'm like, I wanna start another business telling people how to build this kind of business model that set me free. But I didn't start it in 2016, I waited two more years to launch this business just out of fear of like, gosh, well, number one, am I good enough to teach people in the business space? Because now I'm jumping into Marcus's lane and Tony Robbins' lane. Like I was a big fish in a small pond and that was very safe. Do I really wanna get into the bigger pond? And then number two, was I just lucky?
Did I just get lucky in the first business? And am I gonna be like, you know, Michael Jordan, not to compare myself to him, but when he thought, yeah, I'm gonna go play baseball and everyone's like, nah, you probably should have stayed with basketball. And then he went back to basketball and crushed it. Am I gonna be made fun of for jumping into this other lane and not working out? And then the third fear, bro, was what will people say when I'm shifting and they don't want me to shift?
Graham (19:15.076)
They want me to stay where I was. Well, you're the music guy. And people did say that, by the way. And so that fear was justified in terms of like, it did come true, whether it's a reason not to do something or not is different point. But I was afraid of like those three big things because I had such an identity in this success. I, maybe you've had your serial entrepreneur, you've had multiple companies. I don't know if you ever struggle with the label of a, well, I'm the nutrition fitness guy. I'm the, now I'm the mentor financial guy. I'm this guy.
Talk to me about, has that ever been a problem for you in pivoting, evolving, chasing, dreaming, or have you felt like your identity was very solid and it just revealed itself and manifested itself in different areas, which is I think is where I'm trying to land, but this would just be real -time struggle.
Markus Kaulius (19:59.451)
Yeah, brother. I love the vulnerability. So thank you for that. And you're bringing up such beautiful points. If anyone hasn't felt what you just described, I don't think they've done anything with their lives yet. I don't want to be rude, but this is the truth. And I love that you brought up the Michael Jordan example because everyone talks about that example. Can I reframe this for everyone for a second? You took the world's best basketball player and then he went to play baseball.
He played in the majors. Are you kidding me? Do you know how amazing that is? He made the major league for baseball. It's not even his top sport. How is that not crazy success? But what did we measure it against? Well, you're not the best baseball player of all time. So you should probably quit dumb dumb. That's literally like Elon Musk going and making
Graham (20:43.77)
Hmm.
Graham (20:49.347)
Hahaha.
Graham (20:53.561)
That's fair.
Markus Kaulius (20:56.155)
$17 trillion at his next business and it's going well your first one made 250 trillion So you really failed along you goof go back to Tesla So let's put some things into perspective people Number two there are always gonna be people who want to keep you where you are They're comfortable with where they are you have fit into their lifestyle into their path exactly how you were of course when I went to sell my big business
Graham (21:09.699)
Mm.
Markus Kaulius (21:26.093)
So many people were like, why are you doing this to me? I'm sorry, why am I doing this to you? I'm really excited to go try something new. And I don't even care if I'm as successful. I'm so excited. First of all, God's calling me to it. So that's number one, I have to go. But for those of you who are like, God calling me, that's not my thing. It doesn't have to be. We all know what it's like to be called in our heart to be like,
Graham (21:29.933)
Yeah.
to you.
Markus Kaulius (21:54.959)
my heart isn't in this anymore. I feel like it's over here. Go for it. Do you know how fulfilling it is to follow your heart and be like, my goodness, it's amazing over here. It doesn't have to be as good as this or successful as this. You will find new fulfillment in new challenges. So sometimes you have to go, I'm starting a new chapter. And I want to talk about this real quick. So many people I know...
are called to the next chapter in their life. And just like you, they're hesitating. And I get it. This world is going, get comfortable. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't take more risk. What are you nuts? And the other part that whispers in our ear, just like those people go and please don't move, is that we feel internally like, am I disrespecting the people from my last chapter? So I'd like to reframe that as well to say, what if you're actually giving them extra respect?
Graham (22:44.634)
Mm -hmm.
Markus Kaulius (22:50.863)
by becoming the person you're supposed to become.
Graham (22:53.891)
Come on now. Yeah.
Markus Kaulius (22:55.663)
All of my previous chapter led me to who I am today. I'm so grateful for those people and I want to honor them by becoming the truest version of myself where I can impact the most amount of people. And I'm so grateful for every person in the past, even my haters, my doubters, even those people that are going, what are you doing? Don't leave us. Don't change. I love you guys for that. If you're listening to this, I'm so grateful.
that you were part of that story that I just got to tell. I think about you all the time. I pray about you all the time. And I wanna do so much in this next chapter of my life so that you can go, yeah, I helped him with that. Yes, yes, you did.
Graham (23:39.332)
Yeah. it's so good. It's so powerful, man. I mean, there's a lot of alignment here. Me just being biased. My new book, Rebel, Find Yourself by Not Following the Crowd is all about pushing back against what people want you to be, what even you used to think of yourself and finding the truest version of yourself. I love how John Maxwell says that he's got this song. I don't know you're following, he's writing songs now. You know, you've, when you've written all the books, what else can you do? He's writing songs and one of them,
Markus Kaulius (24:03.641)
Yeah, I know. Wild.
And they're award -winning songs, by the way. Of course.
Graham (24:09.036)
Of course, of course they are. This guy can't stop. I love it. And the song that he's got, I heard it came out after I'd turned in the manuscript for my book, but I was like, this is like so aligned with my book. I've been quoting it in like keynotes lately, but it's like, he's got the song where he says in the chorus, I've got to find myself so I can improve myself or to know myself. I got to know myself so I can improve myself. got to improve myself so I can get over myself so I can give myself to you.
And it's this beautiful line of like, to your point, bro, how selfish is it to not evolve, to not step into the next chapter? Because the reframe is who are you hurting by not stepping into the new thing? Either the new people that need the Marcus or the Graham to step into the new thing, or to your point, and maybe you've experienced this, the people you have been serving in previous businesses or lanes or spheres of influence who actually
are not as homogenous as you think. They will actually follow you into the next thing. I don't know how many musicians I have that are like starting businesses now that 10 years ago weren't starting a business, but they're like, I'm so glad you're now my business mentor, and not just the music mentor, because I need someone that thinks like you to help me in the business space. And you just never know the future version of them that needs you to evolve too.
Markus Kaulius (25:29.787)
this is so good. Okay, two big things I took away from this that I want to I want to bring back number one This world has only been gifted with one of you We need you to be your best authentic self and being your authentic self means evolving It doesn't mean we don't love you for who you are today. Just like my kids I love them so much right now, but I love them so much. I can't let them stay where they are and
evolve, not get educated. They have to become the best version because this world needs them. I don't know who but I know tons of people are going to be impacted by my kids. And by every single one of you listening. And the second thing that I love that you said. If you don't move, if you don't grow, there are so many people watching you. And so, I'm thinking about myself in my last chapter.
People knew I was this grower and a shower. They knew I was supposed to be someone else. And I don't... I hate to sound cocky in that. But people knew I just had these big dreams. I had these big thoughts. Imagine if I didn't do anything about him and I just stayed where I was. Do you know how many other people watching me would have gone, well, honestly, if Marcus can't do it, like if he's not moving, who am I? Who am I to think I can do more than I should just stay right where I am?
The fact that I moved on, the fact that you moved on, showed those other people. it can be done. And it doesn't have to be like, well, did you make a lot more money? Were you much more successful? That has nothing to do with it. To me, the greatest definition of success has to do with how many people you're impacting and how fulfilled you are with your life. I don't need millions of dollars to feel fulfillment, to feel joy, to feel happiness. But if I have happiness and joy...
Graham (27:20.025)
Hmm.
Markus Kaulius (27:28.015)
then I feel fulfilled and guess what? I'm actually gonna make more money doing that stuff anyway.
Graham (27:33.924)
So good, So good. mean, bro, there's so much there. Part of what I think, and I write about this in Rebel, is like when you become a Rebel, because to be a Rebel, I'm sort of rebranding the phrase of like, it's just to do something different than what everyone else is doing. And if what everyone else is doing isn't leading to fulfillment or successful marriages or successful finances, like, wouldn't you be not crazy to actually do something different? Aren't you the smart one to say, maybe I should go in a different direction?
Someone has to go first. takes someone to be like, the moment you become a rebel and say like, this is what a fulfilling life looks like for me based off of the way I'm wired, based off of my desires, based off of the opportunities I have. You give people in your circle of influence permission to be a rebel themselves, to find their authentic self. I love what you said, bro, on Instagram. What if the unique stuff about you, what you deem as crazy,
will actually draw people to you. And when we finally let the crazy out, that's when you said, when you finally let the crazy out, that's when you were drawn to the right people and people were drawn to you. Talk about that because I think you're spot on in terms of like, you have the guts to let the real Marcus come out, the real authentic Marcus come out and almost be a filter for if you like it, you're gonna love it. If you don't, you're gonna leave and you actually, you'll be more fulfilled.
and you're gonna draw the right people. Talk to me about that, how that has felt, but also how that's from a strategic business standpoint been strategic for you in terms of clients or business or whatever.
Markus Kaulius (29:06.931)
bro. First of all, hey, thank you for doing the deep dive research. mean, these are the... I don't even know how old that video is. But I love this point because it is transformative. We all hold back our crazy. The stuff that makes us are unique us. And I don't mean our like total crazy like, hey, here's the weird sex stuff I'm into. But hey, I'm not even saying hold that back. But here's what I'm getting at.
all the things that I used to be like, I'm embarrassed and you know, I would make some sort of either joke or be like who I wanted to be and certain people would nail you down. And don't be like that. That's lame. When you look back at anyone who's ever shoved you down for that, you go, I don't even really like those people. Those aren't the people I like being around. And then you think of the people who like you do this kind of thing and people are laughing, people are leaning in. They're like,
you got to meet Marcus. He's got this great story. Those are the people and I want to be clear here. I'm not saying surround yourself by yes men. There is a fine balance there but that's not what I'm getting at. I'm not getting that. you're so great. this freaking guy. No. But the people who are truly like, no, no, no. There's something special about this guy. This guy's energy, this guy's wisdom. You start leaning into that, your whole life will change. Talk about business.
I teach people all the time, choose your clients. Those clients that are the ones that complain the most, that you just, it's grinding metal on metal. Those are the ones that take over 80 % of all of your time. They create 80 % of your stress. Yet, over here, the people that love you and that you love, they're the ones that are like, hey, when you get a chance, can you send me a refund? That was...
There was an open box. It's not a big deal, but just when you get a chance, okay, but I'm putting out a fire over here. I'm so sorry. It's like, no fire. Those people, those people don't belong. If you took the energy that you were putting in over here, put it over here. Guess what? More of these people will come and fill your business profile. Your business is going to grow so much because you're going to spend more time with us. And guess what happens now? I've even more energy for these people.
Markus Kaulius (31:24.591)
I get to be even more the person I'm supposed to be. And then the world turns into this beautiful magnet. People are coming into my life that are supposed to come into my life because they see who I really am and they're drawn to it. And this world is so big. There are so many billions of people on this planet who love you, who want to work with you, who are gonna be drawn to you. But if you're not being yourself, they don't know where to find you.
Graham (31:33.593)
Mm -hmm.
Markus Kaulius (31:53.391)
They don't know how to find you and they will not be doing business with you.
Graham (31:58.169)
So good. I want to connect two points here today because they just connected to my brain. What you just said, plus what we were talking about earlier with action. Real talk, 18 months ago, I had this sense and my wife did too. She's an entrepreneur as well. And we both felt like our community just we've outgrown our community in the sense that we needed different people in our lives to speak to a different part of our lives, which was the dreaming bigger. Like your book, play a bigger game.
Markus Kaulius (32:23.471)
Hmm.
Graham (32:27.994)
Everyone around us was saying like, why would you want a bigger game? Like just your game is already big enough. Like you should be happy with what you have. Why do you have new dreams, new ideas? And we realized, I don't know what to do with this. And so we need better people in our life to help us grow, to challenge us. And so we made a decision. We joined a new mastermind, a new community of people. That's where I connected with John Gordon specifically. But what I've seen in the last 18 months is a combination of taking action and doing different things with different people.
and then not being afraid to show up and vocalize the new dream in my heart, even though it felt like I'm gonna expose this idea that's still in its infancy. And for me, the idea was, I know I've been in the music lane forever 15 years ago, and then I've been in the business lane the last six or seven years, helping new beginner business owners. part of what I really, my real heart's desire is to be a bigger thought leader, speak on physical stages, write.
personal development stuff for all people. And for the business specific clients, I wanna work with existing business owners that have bigger questions than just how to make more money. How can I have more meaning in my life? How can I have more margin to be with my family? And that felt like at the time, maybe it was overblown, a tender, exposing vulnerable dream because people that that's not who you are. You don't have a whole lot of track record doing that stuff. You haven't written a thought leadership book outside of your business lane, but I knew what I wanted to do. So I did two things at once, bro.
meeting new people, doing new things, talking to new people, and then sharing with everybody the dream in my heart, knowing that it could be made fun of, it could be judged, could have been, I get a lot of like glazed over looks like, that's cute, which feels like as much as like a put down. But I did that. And so what's happened in the last 18 months? Well, all of a sudden I'm meeting people that are way bigger than me, even people like you that are doing big new things that.
speak the same language that see the dream in my heart and go, that's not crazy at all. That makes so much sense. And you know what? Not only should you do it, you can do it and the world needs you to do it I'll help you do it. Can I help you in some way? Do you need to be connected with somebody? And then opportunities come, clients come, the book comes, like so many things. If I look back in the last 18 months, I'm like my world, I'm living on another planet, but I don't know if I would have ever been on this planet if I hadn't had the guts to take action, which we talked about earlier, but also show up as
Markus Kaulius (34:30.021)
Yes.
Graham (34:48.611)
the new version of me or the me that I know is there that the world doesn't know yet and start to speak about some of these things so people don't, if you don't talk about it, it's hidden, they don't know. So I have, my whole world's been blown up, bro, from doing those two things.
Markus Kaulius (35:01.51)
I freaking love this. And what a beautiful place for our conversation to go. Because I think so highly of you already. I've known you for an hour. And I want to tell you 2 things. 1, I want to buy 10 books today. Okay? I want to buy 10 copies of Rebel because I want to share it with people. I want to make sure I read it myself. Number 2, I know you enough to say, I'd invest in you. If you had a business that you needed investment, I would put my money where my mouth is.
That's what happens when you become your authentic self. I can see that you are on the right path. And part of what I love doing is go seeing people on their right path and going, how can I make sure you stay on this path? How can I help you on this path to keep you here to get you excited about this path every single day, which I don't think you need the motivation. But I see that in you and I think it's amazing. And the other point I want to bring up is this for everybody who hears people.
put down their dreams. I heard the most profound thing and I apologize. It's going to be from one of the brilliant thought leaners. It's it could be John Gordon for all I know. But here it is. You will never be put down by somebody who is ahead of you, who's already accomplished this. So think about this. You go, you know, I want to build a house. The only people who are about to slam you are the people who've never built a house. You can't build a house.
Graham (36:15.289)
Hmm.
Graham (36:24.835)
You
Markus Kaulius (36:26.287)
What a dumb dream you dumb dumb. You speak to anyone who's built a house, they go, great. Hey, I actually have some contacts. Let me give you some contacts. Think about that people. Think about that in your life. Any dream you have that's been squashed. It was squashed by someone who's like, that can't be done because I've never seen it done. I haven't done it and it's their own fear that's coming out.
Surround yourself by people. Invite some people into your life who've done something. Those are the people who are going to go, that's awesome. How can I help you? How can I help you on your path? I know you're going to do it. I don't think. I know for certain you're going to do it. And I'm so excited to be by your side and to get some front row seats to cheer with you. And every little success you have along the way, you better believe I'm going to be right there going, I knew it. Yes.
Keep going, brother.
Graham (37:24.281)
Dude, that is so, it's so good. you know, everything ties together today. It's just one of those days. You know, we talked about social media earlier and you said something that I think is powerful too on Instagram, which is meta because we're talking about social media. You said if it's out of your control, it deserves zero mental bandwidth. And that could be applied to reading the news. That could be applied to social media. And you've also said, and I just shared, we shared it on Instagram because I love this reel about if you handed your
your social media account or your phone to somebody and they looked at your who you follow on social, what your discovery page is, showing up, basically what videos you've been clicking on. How would you feel about that? What would it reveal about you? And it's a beautiful way to get you to like, you don't have to admit anything, but you instantly know, I don't know if I'd feel good about handing my phone to somebody or I think I'd feel fine. Or even if there's nothing that's convicting, it's more of a, if you can't control physically the people you're around, you can.
definitely control digitally the people who are influencing you and are they positive, are they negative, are they adding to your life, are they not? And so to your point, if you have a dream in your heart, but the people you're surrounding yourself with even digitally that don't know you, you don't know them, don't have the same visions or the values that you have and they're putting down even not directly to you, but indirectly your hopes and dreams, like it will snuff the life out of you and you chose that, bro. Like you chose those people to speak into it. I love,
You're functionally saying you have to have the discipline to cut certain voices out of your life. No one's going to do it for you. The algorithm certainly isn't going to do it for you. But if you have the choice of who you want to speak into you and maybe, bro, speak to this too, because at the beginning of your book, you talk about this powerful moment at age 15 when you like your name changed, like God gave you a different name, but it was more it was really like a symbol of you around some people that didn't know.
who Mark was and you became Marcus, like that you almost had this beautiful moment. I could be, I don't have to be who other people think I am. I could be who I think the real me could be, but you had to make that decision and that was a very empowering decision. So in my mind, those things connect. I don't know if they do for you, but maybe speak to any of that that jumps out at you,
Markus Kaulius (39:38.527)
There's so much good in here. So I want to start by encouraging everybody Let's talk about the social media and let's talk about an actionable step you can do today I want you to think about who you want to be. That's your authentic self. It really is That's your heart. That's your mind going. This is who I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be I Want you to start moving towards it by being very cognizant and intentional of what you're looking at on social media
If you are not somebody who's into the negativity of politics, the negativity of social media, I want you to catch yourself as soon as you start watching a video and move on. Remember, the algorithm keeps feeding you what it thinks you want. And you're making it really easy. If you're watching videos for one to two minutes that are on politics, that are on the negative stuff, that are on stuff you say you don't want, you're going to get fed more of it. And guess what?
That's who you become. You become what you consume. If I consume garbage all day long, I'm sorry to say, I'm gonna become garbage. If I consume positivity, love, and I start putting more of that out there, guess who I become? It's such a simple equation, but we kind of hope that it's just gonna naturally happen. So I guess my first question to everybody is, if it...
Has it happened for you? And if it hasn't, would you be interested in taking just one simple step today to move towards the person that you are meant to be?
Graham (41:18.815)
I love it. Yeah, man. What will be the first step for you?
Markus Kaulius (41:24.155)
I love this. I'm going to start by saying again, be intentional. Make a real decision and say, this is what I'm going to do. And then commit to whatever you decide fully. And whatever that looks like. So for example, if it's going to be, I'm going to be more careful on my social media. How about the first step is set 2 alarms. One is going to go off after 5 minutes. Hey Siri, set the alarm for 5 minutes. And she's going to beep at you to get you off of social media.
Number two, maybe in 10 minutes, it's gonna say, are you looking at positive stuff? Just that little reminder. By the way, here, I'm gonna be really vulnerable with you guys. For years, I wanted to make sure I was becoming a better dad. Sorry, I shouldn't say it like that. I still wanna be a better dad. But I did not get raised in a home where I got to see that as my model. So I knew I was kinda fighting all the time.
Graham (42:00.131)
Hmm.
Markus Kaulius (42:23.387)
my who I wanted to be versus who I was probably going to become. And my kids would laugh every night at I think it was 7 p or 6 p my alarm would go off on my iPad and my phone that said be a better dad. Every night for decades. Why? Because it was that little reminder if I was on my phone if I was doing business if I was playing around or if I was just sitting down on the couch that alarm went off and reminded me
I want to do something right this minute. I'm going to do something. I'm just going to put the electronics away and I'm just going to have a conversation with my daughters. How is your day today? Do you want to play a game right now? It could be as simple as do want to watch a show together? Just something that makes me a better dad. Now, I'm not going to go I'm the best dad on the planet. But I'll tell you I'm a 10 ,000 times better dad than I was. And I know tomorrow I'm going to be a better dad than I was today.
Graham (43:23.021)
That's so good. It's so simple. And the theme today also just the small little steps I love because they're they're empowering. If you don't if you didn't do it today, you could pick it up again tomorrow. Like it's it's it's not this beat yourself up. It's like, you could you could do it. And as a dad as well. And how old are your kids, Marcus?
Markus Kaulius (43:36.709)
Yeah.
Markus Kaulius (43:44.731)
15 and 13.
Graham (43:46.522)
Bro, we're the same. have a 15 and a 12 year old. Wild. Bro, we're, it's so wild. So I know from my experience, and maybe you do too, that like my girls, they don't remember or talk about a lot of the specific things we did together as much as they, if you ask them or if it comes up, they're like, my dad loves me and is around and he hangs out with me and he likes being with me we do stuff together. And it's just the general sense of that's either true or not true.
Markus Kaulius (43:48.985)
Wild!
Graham (44:16.511)
how they catalog it in their brain. And that's what I'm fighting for. Because I can beat myself up if I feel like a season of, I was really busy with that, which is kind of like the book launch we just finished. And, you know, it's like you're doing all the push and doing everything Rory's telling me to do. And with Brand Builders, like, you know, and it's like, I was a little busier than usual. But I even asked them like, Hey, do you feel like daddy was too, too busy during the season? I wanted a Paula and they were like, Dad, I feel like you really made plenty of time for us. I feel like we were super connected. And yeah, you were on more podcasts than usual or whatever. But
But they're like, dude, you're always, you're always here. We're always hanging out. We're always connected. I always feel like, you know, what's going on in my life. And so I'm with you. I feel like it's, don't know there's anything magical I've done, but it's that consistency to decide to be a better dad. I'm trying to work on this right now. My marriage, like my wife and I are having really good conversations about, we have, we have such a good marriage that we're at the, the, the neg, the, the, the, potential fear is that we won't have a great marriage. Cause we're like, everything's good.
Markus Kaulius (45:03.887)
Hmm.
Graham (45:15.609)
And so like we're, and we're busy and we're both high achievers. So it's like easy to settle for the good and then not see the cracks that are forming of two decades in of like, we can't keep running off the same stuff we did 10 years ago. Like we got to relearn. We're different people. Our kids are different ages. So like, so I'm now trying to become more intentional with marriage. Okay. What can we do? So yeah, bro, it never ends.
Markus Kaulius (45:29.155)
Yes.
Markus Kaulius (45:32.783)
Yes.
bro, you are. Yeah, you're such a good dude. For anybody listening who is sitting there going, man, I wish I could talk that way about my kids. You can start today. You can start today. One of the things that Graham just said that I love and respect so much is it's not about the things we do. It's not like these. I have to create these memories. It's about how we make them feel.
And I think my kids would give the same answer that they feel loved because I just pour that love on them. I spend time with them. I'm really intentional with that stuff. And I'll tell you a little tip. There was one of the most fun things I did. So anybody who wants to be a better father, here it is. Take a, take a piece of paper and create five to 10 questions to ask your kids and give you a report card.
How am I doing as a dad? Do I spend intentional time with you? When I'm with you, do you feel listened to? And each one of these questions, you want a one to 10. It's gonna open up your eyes, but also what's really fantastic is that it's gonna help them see you wanna get better. That's big. And then two, you'll know exactly where you need to get better. Wow, I didn't realize I'm never listening.
All of my kids said I'm on my phone when they're trying to talk to me. I'm so embarrassed. That's so gross. I don't know about you guys. I feel so gross when I catch myself and someone's talking to me and I'm looking at my phone. I'm like, what are you doing Marcus? Like that's so embarrassing. You're better than this. So, get that report card out. And by the way, that's not just for being a dad. I gave the same report card to my wife. And I'm... I was very pleased with my score. But that being said, I wanted it to be better.
Markus Kaulius (47:26.839)
And I knew exactly where I needed to go to make it better.
Graham (47:31.267)
So good, bro, I could ask you a million questions, but I'm looking at the clock. We've got to honor your time. It is a good segue to the final question. do a segment on the show. You can go any direction you want, Marcus. I don't think this will be hard for you because we've already been having some of these bigger questions outside of just the business lane. I call it the golden rule. And it's really simple. You've got two wonderful daughters. You and your wife are teaching them everything you possibly can. You're trying to raise them well. You're trying to set them up to be better humans than you were set up to be.
Markus Kaulius (47:50.053)
Mmm.
Markus Kaulius (48:00.579)
Hmm.
Graham (48:00.759)
as we all are, but let's imagine hypothetically they forget everything you and your wife have taught them, except for one piece of advice or wisdom that would actually stick with them and they would carry with them the rest of their lives, much like a golden rule. If you could choose what you would want that to be, what would it be?
Markus Kaulius (48:16.027)
Hmm.
Markus Kaulius (48:19.745)
what a beautiful question. Okay. First, the, the, the obvious and true answer is this. Who does God want you to be? And I would let them be led by that. But since I know there's going to be some people listening who are like, well, that doesn't work for me and my family. Cause we're not into that mumbo jumbo or whatever you want to say. I'm going to give another answer. Lead with gratitude. Gratitude is something that can change your world so fast.
And if my kids are grateful, you wouldn't believe the doors that open for grateful people now. Because so few people are grateful. And I don't just mean saying thank you for things, which that's part of it. Because how many kids have we run into that don't even thank you for really obvious things that you should be thanking? But to go above and beyond to be like, I am so grateful. Like by the way, I am so grateful for this podcast. This is one of my...
favorite podcast I've ever done. I'm so grateful to be in your presence because I think you are the freaking man. And I know where you're going over the next 10, 20, 30 years. I am so honored and blessed to be around you. Gratitude makes people want to do things with you and for you and open up doors for you and do everything they can. So, if there's just one thing, it's to lead with gratitude.
And then maybe even more important is to be really grateful to look around and be like, wow, I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for the beautiful view I have right here, for the trees, for the air in my lungs, for legs that work, for boom, boom, boom, boom. When you are looking to be grateful, you become a happier, healthier person that really appreciates what's going on in your world as opposed to what we're seeing today, which is my world's not that great.
Graham (50:18.051)
Hmm.
Markus Kaulius (50:18.211)
I could be doing so much better. People aren't doing enough for me. And it's like, that's so gross. I don't want to help that person other than maybe, I don't know, you need some discipline in your life or something, but leading with gratitude.
Graham (50:31.565)
You
Bro, so good, so powerful, so helpful. Marcus, you are a gem of a person. This has been a wonderful conversation filled with not just good tips, but wisdom, which is so rare this day, true wisdom. So thank you, bro, for how you're showing up. Everyone get the book, play a bigger game. It's a USA Today bestseller. It's phenomenal. It's practical. If you want more fulfillment in your life, that's the book to read. Marcus.
Love what you're doing, bro. And I want people to fill their social media feeds with your account. It'll displace the darkness that's on social. So everyone go check out Marcus online. Bro, thanks for your time today. It's been wonderful.
Markus Kaulius (51:07.333)
you
Markus Kaulius (51:15.417)
I can't be more grateful. thank you so much for this. And by the way, people, if you're listening and you're like, there's something about this Marcus guy, I want to connect with him. Please do. I get so filled up by people reaching out to me saying, Hey, you said this and it really stuck with me. It triggered me at whatever reach out to me, reach out to me on social media or come find me at play a bigger game .com. want to hear from you.
And I want to be your cheerleader too. And if you think I can help you in your life, man, that would be such an honor.
Graham (51:49.443)
Love it. Take him up on that guys. And thank you so much for hanging out today, Marcus. I appreciate you, bro. We'll see you soon.
Markus Kaulius (51:54.523)
Thank you, brother.
